The 1795 marriage of George IV and Caroline of Brunswick

Imagine the messiest celebrity wedding ever, but with actual crowns. In 1795, George IV met his bride, Caroline, and immediately recoiled in horror. He literally whispered to his aide, "I am not well, pray get me a glass of brandy."

George was a debt-ridden playboy who only married for the massive government paycheck. Caroline wasn't impressed either, finding him way "portlier" than his portraits. The vibe was so toxic that George spent their wedding night passed out in the bedroom fireplace.

This was the ultimate blind date from hell. He was already secretly married to someone else, making this the most expensive and petty royal rebound in British history.

Wait, who was the secret wife he was actually obsessed with?

That would be Maria Fitzherbert, a twice-widowed Catholic who was basically the ultimate 'forbidden fruit.' George was so unhinged for her that he reportedly cried and threatened to stab himself just to get her to agree to a secret, illegal wedding in her drawing room.

The catch? British law strictly forbade royals from marrying Catholics or marrying without the King's permission. To the public, she was just his 'companion,' but in George’s head, she was the only real Queen, making his marriage to Caroline a total sham for the cameras.

Did Caroline actually know she was basically the 'other woman' in her own marriage?

Oh, she knew. It wasn’t exactly a subtle affair; it was the talk of every tea room in London. George didn’t even try to play the part of the doting husband. He basically treated Caroline like an unwanted houseguest from day one.

The real kicker? George kept a miniature portrait of Maria tucked under his clothes at all times. He even left a will stating he wanted to be buried with it. Caroline was essentially the "official" wife on paper, while Maria held the title of "the one who actually mattered" in the messiest royal throuple ever.

So she just stayed home during his big coronation ceremony?

Quietly? Not a chance. For his 1821 coronation, George hired professional boxers as "security" specifically to bar her from the building. He was terrified she’d ruin his big moment with her chaotic energy.

Caroline showed up anyway, banging on the doors and shouting, "I am the Queen!" The guards literally slammed the doors in her face while the crowd outside cheered for her and hissed at the King.

It was the ultimate public "uninvite." George spent a fortune on a party just to feel like a star, while his official wife was left outside like a rejected plus-one.

What was her next move after being ghosted at her own husband's coronation?

She didn't even get a chance to plot a revenge arc. The humiliation was a literal death blow; just nineteen days after being bounced from the Abbey, Caroline fell mysteriously ill and died.

True to her brand, she spent her final breaths claiming she’d been poisoned. She even ordered her coffin to be inscribed with "The Injured Queen of England" just to troll George one last time from the afterlife.

George didn't even pause the party. He was busy celebrating in Ireland and basically toasted to his newfound bachelorhood while her funeral caused actual riots in the streets.