Catherine the Great’s 'Lover's Exam' conducted by her ladies-in-waiting

Catherine the Great didn’t do "situationships." She ran Russia like a CEO, which meant her bedroom had a literal HR department.

Before a guy became the official "Favorite," he faced a performance review. Her lady-in-waiting, Countess Bruce, would "test-drive" the candidate to ensure he was witty and physically up to the task.

It was a royal internship where the final exam was a night with the boss's best friend. No five-star rating? You were ghosted by the entire empire.

Wait, didn't the "test-driver" ever just keep the guy for herself?

Oh, she absolutely did, and it was the scandal of the century. Countess Bruce eventually forgot she was just the "quality control" and got a little too attached to a handsome hunk named Ivan Rimsky-Korsakov.

Catherine literally walked in on them. Imagine the CEO catching the HR director "evaluating" the new hire in a private office—except the office is a royal bedchamber. It was messy, unprofessional, and very public.

The Empress didn't do second chances. Bruce was kicked out of the palace faster than a bad habit, proving that in Catherine's court, you could look at the menu, but you definitely couldn't steal the meal.

Was Ivan also ghosted, or did he somehow talk his way out of it?

Ivan was immediately "unsubscribed" from the royal lifestyle. Catherine might have been head-over-heels, but she had a brand to protect. She sent him packing to Moscow with a one-way ticket and zero severance pay.

It wasn't just a breakup; it was a total social erasure. He went from the most powerful bed in Russia to a total nobody overnight. Catherine didn't do "it's complicated"—she just hit the delete button and moved on to her next "intern" within weeks.

Where was she even scouting these 'interns' from so quickly?

Catherine didn’t need an app; she had a Chief Talent Officer. Her ex-boyfriend, Grigory Potemkin, became her personal headhunter. Even after they broke up, they stayed "work besties" because he knew her "type" better than anyone.

Potemkin would scout the army for the most loyal, handsome officers. He’d polish them up, check their political vibes, and present them to Catherine like a curated gift. It was the ultimate "exes-to-business-partners" pivot.

This arrangement meant Catherine’s heart stayed busy while her throne stayed secure. Potemkin kept his influence, and the Empress got a steady stream of eye candy without the stress of a blind date.

So Potemkin was basically just gatekeeping the throne with eye candy?

Potemkin wasn't being selfless; he was gatekeeping. By hand-picking every "intern," he made sure no one smart enough to challenge his political influence ever reached Catherine’s inner circle.

He basically installed "human firewalls." While these officers distracted Catherine with romance, Potemkin was busy running the empire. It was the ultimate "one for you, two for me" power play.

If a candidate showed real ambition, Potemkin would "unsubscribe" them immediately. He remained the only man she truly trusted, keeping his influence secure while she stayed entertained.