The 18th-century 'Macaroni' subculture and their extreme fashion trends

Long before TikTok, 18th-century London had the Macaronis—the original hypebeasts. These guys would go on a gap year to Italy and return acting like they’d discovered fire, or in this case, pasta.

They lived for main character energy, sporting wigs so tall they had to use swords to tip their tiny hats. It was pure clout-chasing, a way to flex their 'refined' foreign tastes on the locals.

The name literally came from the exotic macaroni they ate abroad. It was the 1770s version of a luxury travel flex.

Wait, they actually used swords just to tip their hats?

Yes, for real. Imagine wearing a wig so massive it’s basically a skyscraper on your head. These "tower" wigs were often two feet tall, powdered white, and decorated with everything from fruit to model ships.

The hats were these tiny, useless tricorns perched right at the peak. Since their arms weren't six feet long, they used "cane-swords" or long sticks to gently nudge the hat when greeting someone.

It was the ultimate "weird flex but okay." If you didn't look like you were struggling to balance a wedding cake on your skull, were you even an influencer?

But how did they fit through doors with those literal skyscrapers?

Entering a room was a tactical mission. They often had to do a deep squat just to clear the doorframe. It was the 1770s 'struggle bus' for the aesthetic.

Carriages were the final boss. Some guys had to sit on the floor of the coach or stick their heads out the window just to keep the wig from getting crushed.

To top it off, the wigs used lard as glue. If the party got too hot, your hair would start melting and smelling like bacon. Pure chaos for the clout.

Hold on, wouldn't a head full of lard attract rats and bugs?

It was a literal buffet. Since these masterpieces took hours to build, Macaronis didn't just take them off at night; they’d wear the same grease-caked hair for weeks at a time.

The lard and hair powder (which was often just flour) were basically an invite to every mouse in London. It wasn't uncommon for guys to wake up and find a family of rodents had moved into their 'skyscraper' overnight.

To survive the night, they had to sleep with silver 'wig cages' over their heads. Imagine being so committed to the aesthetic that you need a literal security fence to stop rats from snacking on your scalp.

Did everyone just ignore the fact that they smelled like rotting bacon?

It was a complete sensory nightmare. To mask the stench of rancid lard and weeks of sweat, Macaronis basically marinated themselves in heavy perfumes like musk and ambergris.

Imagine the strongest cologne you’ve ever smelled, then multiply it by ten and add a hint of 'spoiled kitchen grease.' That was the signature scent of high society.

Since everyone else was also skipping showers and wearing grease-wigs, the bar for 'smelling good' was in the basement. It was a literal 'fake it 'til you make it' situation for the nostrils.